oy vey

So can I just say outright that I have the up most respect for people who do research. Y'know, the people who really enjoy mulling through their hypotheses and figuring out how best to test them, people who like to mess with statistics to figure out relationships and the proper way to interpret data. These people are great and necessary for the future of pretty much every scientific discipline out there.

That said, screw it. I'm good at the idea part. I can even formulate a hypothesis. I get hung up, however, when I try to figure out how best to test my hypothesis. There is something hypnotic and enjoyable about data entry; it's meditative. Writing I can do; words are pliable. I don't even mind the revision process, because I still feel like I'm doing something. Similarly, data collection is good, if it involves talking to people. People fascinate me. Basically, what I need is a research project where I can either share ideas, do the literature review and writing (did I mention that I like doing searches for things? I should have been a research librarian), or enter data. Don't make me design the protocol for the study; I'll manage to confound it somehow. I could probably analyze data a little bit if someone gave me a crash course in statistics. Unfortunately, this program I'm in seems to want me to do all of these things. This doesn't seem realistic; a simple search on PubMed for anything will show that most journal articles have multiple authors. Certainly all of the authors didn't design the study, do the data analysis, enter the data, collect the data, or come up with the idea. That would be highly inefficient.

I think what I was hoping for from this program was to be a part of a research TEAM. Instead, it's just me. And my mentor, who is good and available, but is confusing. I think he teaches by giving me cryptic hints and then watching me flail for a few days and then dropping more cryptic hints. If I do research in the future, I want to do it as part of a team. I don't need to be first author. It doesn't need to be solely my idea. I certainly don't need to design the damn thing. Just let me write it and be obsessive compulsive about grammar, spelling and split infinitives.

On a somewhat unrelated note, if you're ever in Boston, you should go to the Countway Medical Library. They have a skeleton of conjoined twins on the fifth floor, in addition to other sundry and macabre items.