Boards

So I won't lie; I'm starting to freak out about boards. Mine are a little over three months away and I've been studying a bit for them...nothing hardcore...some biochem review here, a little microbiology there, using first aid as a study guide for my courses, etc etc.

I'm not sure how, exactly, to study for boards though, especially since we have classwork until May sometime.

I feel like I'm too new to this to have forgotten so much...

babies, babies everywhere

So this sounds like it's going to be a post about how my maternal clock is ticking away and every time I see a cute baby I can feel my ovaries scream. It's not, although those things are sometimes true.

Many people around me are having babies or actively trying to have babies. And they're my age. I am not old. In fact, it strikes me as odd that anyone I know would be having babies without the requisite freak out about school/life/keeping it/etc. Basically, I still feel like my friends, peers and I are in high school, and that we ought to be, I don't know, avoiding pregnancy like it's the plague. Sure, we've gone on to college, joined the army, started businesses, gotten married, and so forth, but we can't possibly be old enough to have babies responsibly. (There's a bumper sticker I used to want that said, "We are the people our parents warned us about." Now, I would add to that, "and we're suddenly in charge.")

Except we are. And that terrifies me. Because my friends/peers are mostly good parents, responsible parents who attempt to do everything right. It's a strange time when friends you used to hang out with while wearing diapers now have children.

Also, our radio stations are sneakily morphing into the "new" oldies stations. I heard Nirvana referred to as being "Classic Alternative" the other day.

patients

Our school has a several opportunities for students to work with and interact with patients. One of them is a free manipulative medicine (OMM) clinic that second years can rotate through. Another is a local free clinic for low income patients. In both circumstances, students are precepted by physicians, but there is an awful lot of autonomy given to us in our little tasks. I have had the great fortune of working in both situations; sadly there are not enough spots for every student to participate. In my time in the clinics, I have seem a lot of patient overlap, to the point where I saw a patient regularly in the OMM clinic only to see her the other day in the free clinic in town. I really enjoy this patient; she's a feisty lady. Anyway, when I went out to call her in for her appointment, we had the following exchange.

Pt: It's you again.
Me: I hope that's a good thing...?
Pt: Don't you ever sleep? You need to sleep.

I think she's just great.

Rotations

So we've had our rotations lottery. I got *undisclosed location*, which allows my husband and I to stay in our current apartment. This brings us great happiness, as we really like our apartment. It does mean that I'm going to be completing a 45-50 min commute most days, but I've done that before and it really doesn't seem that bad to me.

Now I'm just excited to get out of the classroom and into the hospitals. Yeah, the hours will suck, but I won't be sitting for 8-12 hours a day.

I can now run a 10 min 54 sec mile.

Winter, pt II

Dear New England,
It's winter. Less rain, more snow. Seriously. I love rain and all, but it's winter.

Also it smells like corn dogs in here. What's the deal with that?

Winter

So between about 10pm last night and 1pm today, we managed to get at least a foot of snow. I didn't measure it because I was too busy cursing as it came up to my knees when I walked out to meet Cathy today. We live in a city that has epic plows of doom. They circulate not infrequently and clear our streets so that they are passable. However, the snow that they move has to go somewhere, generally along the periphery of the street. This means that it gets pushed into driveways. Yup, we had a veritable 2.5 foot tall jersey barrier of snow in our driveway today. I spent about 30 minutes hacking away at a portion of it with a snow shovel from Wal*Mart, dutifully piling up hunks of snow and ice on the snow covered lawn. I had triumphantly (pathetically?) cleared about a quarter of the entire thing when our neighbor with the industrial strength snow blower showed up to clear the entire jersey barrier and our driveway in 25 minutes. I am torn between feeling depressed by the futility of my actions and impressed by the relative ease that the snow blower did its job. Either way, I think I owe that man a good bottle of wine or cookies.

New Year's Ramblings

So I won't lie. The Haiti thing is really getting to me. I mean, it's just so completely ridiculous. Haiti was already one of the most unstable, impoverished nations in the world and now they have to deal with the fact that most, if not all, of their infrastructure is destroyed.

That and I saw Sanjay Gupta treating a 15 day old infant with a skull laceration yesterday. On CNN. I started to cry, at the gym, while running on the treadmill. I then gave all of the money in my wallet to Doctors Without Borders (MSF).

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but it might be a good idea to avoid growing up for the foreseeable future.

I'm learning to read EKGs. It's essentially like trying to comprehend the scribbles of your best friend's child; they mean something to them, but to you, they're gibberish. It's one of those skills, however, that I think every doctor should have, even if all they can do is think, "huh, this is not good. I better call a cardiologist/the ER."

Today is atypical; let me give you an example of typical

Today I am sick. This means that I'm doing school work at home, in my jammies. Some of my classmates do this every day. I like going to school, though, because classes can be helpful. Something about actually seeing the professors is good. Needless to say, though, that today is atypical. I slept until 10 and am already considering a nap. My head is full of cobwebs and my brain is trying to exit through my nose. Gross, I know.

But what is a typical day for me?
4:30am - cat starts batting at my face; he thinks it's food time. I ignore him.
5:00am - alarm goes off. I hit the snooze and lie there for five more minutes. Then, I get up and gather everything together. Books, clothes, food.
5:45am - feed the cats and leave for the gym.
6:00am - arrive at gym. Somehow convince myself that it is a good idea that I do this most mornings. Claim an elliptical/treadmill.
7:10am - realize that it's 7:10am and run to the locker room. Shower.
7:45am - go to car, swap gym bag for school bag and breakfast.
8:00am - arrive in class, eat breakfast, and sit in same seat for four hours.
12:00pm - lunchtime! sometimes I actually get to eat with friends. Other times, there are meetings.
1:00pm - 5:00pm - class.
5:00pm - on most days, I am able to head home and study until husband gets off work at 6pm.
6:00pm - husband gets off work, cats demand food, we make dinner and feed cats. We talk about our days and eat together. Sometimes we watch something funny.
7:30pm - study for a bit, or until bedtime.
9:30-10:00pm - we head to bed and/or play card games for a bit and/or read.
11:00pm - we actually fall asleep.

I've been called a gunner a few times this week. "Gunner" for those not in the know, is a word used in medical schools to describe very driven students, often in a negative light. In my mind, at least, "gunner" connotes a negative sentiment.

I also feel like I'm the least gunner like person I know. Yeah, I'm trying to do my best in medical school, but I would never sabotage my classmates. I also pretty much don't care how I do in my classes anymore, so long as I pass the courses. I've also started casually studying for boards, which is apparently quite weird. I think it makes sense to study as we go through the courses; I've purchased a few books and I'm working through them along with my courses. We'll see what happens with this.

I just don't feel like a gunner. My classmates probably meant this in more of a complimentary way than I'm thinking...at least I hope so...

Nature

Today, one of my professors, who also happens to be a physician (shocker, I know) gave me an assignment. She told me to go take a walk outside for at least 20 minutes.

Best homework ever.

Halloween

A little boy came to our door dressed up as a compact fluorescent light bulb, complete with a band that listed his wattage and amps used. Best costume ever.

October

It's currently my favorite time of year. It's the time of year that (at least in New England) wild turkeys run rampant and wild along the highways, that frost lingers in the air, and that everything is pumpkin flavored. I love fall, and it is 100% more awesome here than it was in Washington State. People here get really into fall. They go on hay rides, make really elaborate corn mazes and open them up to the public, float pumpkin boats down rivers, and attempt to make anything and everything pumpkin flavored. It is a pretty awesome season.

Yesterday, my husband and I went to the most massive corn maze ever with another couple. The theme was "Under the Sea," and supposedly if you looked at the maze from a helicopter, it actually formed the image of a lobster and other sea life. It also encompassed 5 acres of maze goodness. There's something really neat about running around in corn fields. After we finished the maze, we went on a hay ride to look for pumpkins. That was fun too, although we left without pumpkins. You have to find just the right one, y'know? It has to speak to you. This same farm also had a corn cannon, where you could shoot ears of corn across a field to hit wooden cut outs. Although we didn't try it, we got a big kick out of watching little kids attempt to hit a blue cow made out of old oil drums.

Anyway, I'm on day four of a four day weekend, which means (predictably) that I've had a lot of fun and gotten plenty of sleep but I haven't accomplished much in the way of school work. That's today. It's time to learn about psychiatry.

Neuro drawing to a close

Our last neuro exam is on Friday. It will emphasize diseases, radiology, and pharmacology. This is great, because most of us totally forgot about the pharmacology part due to being overwhelmed by the neurology part. As such, due to our fear of failing neuro, we're all going to fail pharm. We clearly planned this well.

I wrote a haiku.
"Primary brain lymphoma / ring enhancing pics / periventricular spread."
Clearly, I've lost my mind. But I remember things about primary brain lymphoma now...

You know you live in a small town when...

Your bank calls you to wish you a happy birthday, and it's not an automated call.
Dogs sleep in the middle of the road and cars drive around them (this happens when I drive to school periodically).

In other news, neuro is grinding to a finish; our last exam is on October 2nd. I think it's safe to say that we're all pretty much ready for it to be over, although there are certainly a few budding neurologists in our crew who have emerged triumphant and glorious over the material. I, however, am not likely one of those people.

Tomorrow I have the second of three tests for our Neuroscience class. This one is purported to be the most difficult; as such, my classmates and I are finding ourselves both panicking about the amount of material and lacking in motivation to study the material. Case in point - I'm writing this right now.

So I posted a note on facebook, asking people what was one memory they had of me. My brother (who I didn't grow up with past the age of about 2) replied, saying that I "wore a tiny little football helmet and didn't make eye contact."

I think it's interesting what his 7 year old self noticed about me before I vanished from his life.