The truth about medical school

Today, I had a guest student with me. He is planning on applying for admission in the next application cycle. Like most perspective students, he asked a lot of questions that I know I had when I was applying. They're questions that now seem completely ridiculous. I think the one good question he asked was about affordable housing. Everything else was bupkes. This is a selection of things that I wanted to tell him, but I doubt he'd have believed me. Either that or he would get scared.

You will study. You will study until your eyes feel like they will fall out of your head, until you are dreaming about the life cycle of the malaria causing parasite P. vivax and its evil twin P. falciparum. This effort will maybe allow you to pass your classes.

You will take a test that appears to be written in some foreign language, filled with concepts that you have never seen.

You will fail something. If you are lucky, you will fail something that you can fix. I failed immunology, and I am fortunate enough to get to retake the exam. I had better not fail it this time, though. I am lucky, though. One person in my class failed everything and has to go before some board to determine if they get to stay or not. And this person is wicked smart.

You will get sick. Even if you are reasonably healthy, you will get sick. Why? You're in a confined space with 120 other people for large amounts of time.

You will be sleep-deprived. This is because you're trying to take in loads of information, all at once.

You will need support. In this regard, I feel fortunate because I have an awesome husband who is totally ok with me doing this crazy little thing called medical school.

You will ignore the kids who get 90% or better on exams, but only after you too attempt to get 90% on things and fail to do so. This will be for your own good, your sanity. As a corollary, if you are able to get 90% or higher on something, you will keep it on the down low as a courtesy.

You will never look at turkey basters the same way ever again.

Your concept of fun will be forever warped. Studying in a group can now pass for fun.

Bodily functions no longer seem as gross or socially unacceptable.

Your idea of acceptable dinner time conversation will change dramatically. I mean, once you've dissected an entire human being and seen...well...everything, you have a much higher threshold for gross things.

You will make some awesome friends.

Only some of the friends will be dead.

Still Alive

I'm still here. Some things are going well; I get to work in the free clinic next year. Not everyone who wanted to got to. Other things not so well. The last test was indeed a microbiology block of doom, although we haven't gotten all of our results back. It looks like I'll be using one "mulligan". I'm hoping to only have to use one though. I guess we'll see. Having to even use one of my mulligans (we get two) is not doing much in the way of helping my self esteem. Luckily, I'm not alone. Well, lucky for me, I guess. I am in good company, and we're all gonna shout "mulligan!" together.

Seriously, I have the best husband and friends ever. I walked out after getting some of the results and burst into tears on the first available person. Luckily, that was Gil, who has two small children and is thus used to copious amounts of snot,and Nick, who just is. We have a little study group to help each other (Nick, Eve, John, and I) and hopefully we'll pull this off. I'm still not sure how this happened; I felt fairly good about this test. Not "high pass" good, but certainly, "yeah, I passed" good.

Microbiology block of doom

Oh. My. God.
So many bugs, so little time. I'm really hoping that I can pass bacteriology. It's looking borderline right now, especially since the test isn't multiple choice. I can't believe I'm actually desiring a multiple choice test.

Did you know that there are parasites that basically "shed" genitalia? They lose them and then the infected host defecates them. Can you imagine being able to essentially shit your genitals whenever you wanted, just to grow another set?