09 July, 2008

To my neighbors

Dear Neighbors with a pool (i.e. not the neighbors who seem to hate cats for some reason),

I have noticed that you have a pool. I have also noticed that it is 90 degrees with 75% humidity. Now, I am a bit shy, but I would like to suggest myself as an excellent partner in pool shenanigans. I cite the following reasons.
  • I have a huge collection of sunscreen since I am terrified of UVA and UVB rays.
  • I can do really awesome things with seltzer water and a little juice (vodka/gin optional).
  • I'm pretty funny most of the time.
  • I have double jointed thumbs and elbows. While this is of little use to you, it is entertaining.
  • I have all the Harry Potter books, as well as a fairly large collection of comic books that I would be willing to share.
  • I'm new in town, and thus have not been poisoned against anyone (except the cat-hating neighbors), so you could mold me as you see fit.
  • I'm a med student, so after August 1st, you might not see me again. Minimal effort on your part for a pretty awesome friend.
Won't you invite me over to your pool? I promise to bring tasty cherries.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You sound slightly like that Adam Sandler/Chris Farley SNL skit, "the Herlihey Boy."

"Why won't you let me stay at your house? You won't even know I'm there."

Recovering Hippie said...

I kind of felt like Adam Sandler/Chris Farley...plus it was hot. Still is, actually.